Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.