What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything