I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
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You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
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When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym