absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
