In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
