At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
COCAINE IS GR8
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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