I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want her autograph on my taint
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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