my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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