remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
