The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
