I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
