Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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