Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
