im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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