You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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