your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The best revenge is premature balding
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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