i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
