Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
