Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
