God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I will pee on everything he values.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
