He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
