They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i think i just lost a toe
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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