she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
