Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
