all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So vagazzling was a success
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
