Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
