Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
