well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
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This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My boob is missing a layer of skin
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