I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Two words: blizzard sex
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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