To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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