nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
