are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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