i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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