Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
