Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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