Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
