and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
