I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize