I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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