I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
