when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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