Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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