question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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