I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
