i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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