First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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