Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
