Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
