they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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