he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
