that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
