what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
