Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
