Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
where are you?
Hypothermia
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize