Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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