hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
