I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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