Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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