My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The uberlube is also flammable
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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