there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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