:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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