we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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