I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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