At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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