do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm way too hungover for life right now
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
